What Ho Jeeves

May 10th, 2010

Well, there I was, having the most spiffing weekend. Lying in front of the fire, BGT on the telly, reading my internets. And well I never, as Bertie Wooster would say, if I didn’t come across all faint when I came across a little piece from the usually rather spiffing Merriam Webster Online Dictionary. I could really have done with a relaxing gasper and a pick me up from Jeeves (note to self, obtain cat’s gentleman sharpish). But I digress. Before we get to the matter in hand, did I tell you that P.G. Wodehouse was a big fan of mine? In fact, he favoured the wearing of spats after seeing my twinkling white socks. Before I digress any further, there I was, as I say, minding my own business and up popped this mind-altering piece of info which turned my furry head rather, forcing me to show my left-side profile to the assembled (not my best side). Did you know there are people in this world who suffer from doraphobia? It’s all to sickeningly true chaps, they’ll never believe me at the club. Ah yes, I suppose you’d like me to tell you what it means, rather like the all-knowing Jeeves who is forever quoting this and that hither and thither – well my friends, doraphobia, that grisly little word, means that there are sorts out there in the great yonder who have a dread of touching the skin or fur of an animal. It is too much, I shall have to retire to my bed. I am, for once, speechless.

Everybody Speaks In Caps Lock

May 6th, 2010

Or, the UK General Election 2010.

The Cameronbot. Golden Brown, Texture Like Sun. Dr. Legg from Eastenders.

The pretty newsreader tells me that you humans only have two hours left to vote for your new leader. If you ask me, you should vote for a cat, we know how to rule things, you only have to look to the Ancient Egyptians to find proof of that.

And talking of history, did you know that the word ‘Tory’ comes from the Irish word torai, meaning outlaw or robber. Nuff said. No need to thank me for the Fascinating Fact Of The Day. Catnip gratefully received.